I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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