It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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