I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
