Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
