is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
