OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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