it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!