i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts