He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We are all done wearing pants today
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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