I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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