i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest