no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
