dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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