Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
