She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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