i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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