We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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