Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
