Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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