dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
my liver is dry heaving
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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