I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I would ride that face into the sunset
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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