Don't you send me to vm
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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