I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
They took my balls.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
