The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
