I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
