Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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