By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize