A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
