He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
