my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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