I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
