Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
