i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
