I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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