Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
