I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
