Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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