Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
