last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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