I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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