Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I need a beard to bite.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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