You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
