My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
