this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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