i just wanna soil my oats bro
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
