The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
