I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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