Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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