so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Randomize
