Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
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