Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
