Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
