how can u be prego again
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you will always have a special place in my vag
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
