Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Alive.
So much puke
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
