She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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