Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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