just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
