He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
